ELMO HAS OFFICIALLY LEFT THE BUILDING…
Elmo puppeteer KEVIN CLASH resigned yesterday, after a SECOND man accused him of having a sexual relationship with him when he was underage. The new accuser is suing Clash for $5 million. He says the relationship occurred when he was 15, and while it didn't include actual intercourse, there was definitely sexual activity. He also says they hooked up and DID have sex years later, when he was an adult.
JESSE JAMES IS ENGAGED TO THE HEIRESS OF THE PAUL MITCHELL FORTUNE? WELL PLAYED DOUCHE
Jesse James has somehow found a woman who’ll trust him. Hollyscoop reports that Sandra Bullock’s cheating ex is dating racer Alexis DeJoria, daughter of billionaire John Paul DeJoria, co-founder of hair care giant Paul Mitchell. According to reports, Jesse and Alexis have been dating since September, and Hollyscoop says they may even be engaged. Although neither has confirmed the news, DeJoria didn’t exactly deny it when a Twitter follower wrote, “I used to admire you now I feel sorry for you. Moving in and getting engaged to a guy you've been dating for a month." Instead she responded, “Am I supposed to wait till I'm married to sleep with a man too?! Lol! You've been brainwashed into what society says is right."
OH SNAP, DANIKA PATRICK’S GETTING A DIVORCE!
KIM KARDASHIAN…PUTTING THE ASS IN AMBASSADOR!
KIM KARDASHIAN is about to embark on a tour of Kuwait and Bahrain. She's going there to promote the openings of Millions of Milkshake shops in the two countries. But while she's there, she has a higher purpose in mind. Kim recently got into trouble on Twitter, when she tried to post messages of prayer for the Israelis and the Palestinians. So she's using this trip to get SMART. A source says, quote, "Kim wants to be as informed as possible . . . so she can use her celebrity to help those in need and raise awareness about important issues in the area." She has supposedly set up meetings with "local leaders" in both countries.
NICKI MINAJ HAD A NIP SLIP…AGAIN!
YES OR NO? MADONNA’S NAUGHTY BITS JUST ABOUT POPPED OUT OF HER LINGERIE ON STAGE
It's time once again to play YES OR NO? the game in which we give you a picture or pictures and you tell us if we're looking at something DELICIOUS or DISGUSTING. Today's subject is 54-year-old MADONNA, wearing something most 54-year-olds should NOT wear. Then again, Madonna doesn't look like most 54-year-olds, so maybe she deserves a pass. As usual, the choice is yours.
During her gig in Miami on Monday night, Madonna wore her usual, slutty lingerie. But this time, something was different. The front of the costume looked particularly inadequate around the CROTCHAL REGION. And it appeared that the audience was dangerously close to seeing her MOST HOLY OF AREAS.
ON DEMI & ASHTON’S 1 YEAR DIVORCE ANNIVERSARY, KUTCHER IS SUCKING FACE WITH KUNIS!
ANDERSON COOPER’S UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR: “WHOA, THAT WAS A RATHER LARGE EXPLOSION”
MEANWHILE, A.C. MANAGED TO BURN SOME LADY ON TWITTER!
“MACHO” CAMACHO IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION AFTER BEING SHOT IN THE JAW!
Boxing legend HECTOR "MACHO" CAMACHO is in critical condition after being SHOT IN THE JAW in Puerto Rico. Camacho was in a car with a friend when someone opened fire on them. The other man died. The bullet that hit Camacho's jaw exited his head and then re-entered his body through his shoulder and cracked two vertebrae. Amazingly, his rep says he's expected to survive.
SYFY IS CREATING SOME BADASS SOUNDING ROBOT SHOW!
If you're a big fan of ROBOT BATTLES like the movie "Real Steel" and the old shows "Robot Wars" and "Battle Bots" this should be right up your alley. Syfy is developing a show called "Robot Combat League", where eight-foot-tall, 1,000-pound, state-of-the-art humanoid robots will duke it out in a boxing cage kind of like a real life version of the coolest game ever, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots! WWE wrestler CHRIS JERICHO will be the host. Here's how it will work: There will be 12 teams of two people each . . . a "fighter" and a robotics engineer. Each team will have their own unique robot to control. By the way, one of the "fighters" will be MMA superstar AMANDA LUCAS, the daughter of "Star Wars" creator GEORGE LUCAS. Each fight will consist of three rounds, and the winning team will advance. The OVERALL winners will get a $100,000 grand prize. Chris Jericho will set-up each fight, and will provide play-by-play commentary throughout.
NOW THIS IS PUPPY LOVE…FIONA APPLE JUST CANCELLED HER ENTIRE SOUTH AMERICAN TOUR TO BE WITH HER AILING DOG!
FIONA APPLE is canceling her South American tour, to be with her dying . . . DOG. In a fourpage, handwritten letter she posted on Facebook, she says, "I just can't leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I'm afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out."
LENNY KRAVITZ IS GONNA PLAY MARVIN GAYE!
Retro rocker and part-time actor Lenny Kravitz has been chosen to portray Motown legend Marvin Gaye in a forthcoming film focusing on the final few years of the singer’s life. The movie will be directed by Julien Temple, who helmed the Sex Pistols film The Great Rock N’ Roll Swindle. This will be Kravitz’s first leading role, having previously appeared in The Hunger Games in a small role. Marvin Gaye was shot to death by his own father on March 31, 1984 in Los Angeles.
FLAMING LIPS SINGER WAYNE COYNE TRIED TO BRING HIS GRENADE ON A PLANE…SHOCKINGLY TSA HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT
It's not clear why this didn't make the news until yesterday, but on November 10th, FLAMING LIPS singer WAYNE COYNE was responsible for the shutting down of Will Rogers Airport in Oklahoma City. Why? Because there was a GRENADE in his carry-on luggage. It wasn't live, and Coyne said he didn't mean to pack it in his carry-on bag. Someone gave it to him at a party as a joke. But the TSA still had to shut everything down until they could determine it was harmless. Then, despite the chaos he caused, they let Coyne go. He later Tweeted, quote, "Sorry Sorry Sorry!! Everyone that was inconvenienced because of my grenade at OKC airport!!"
WHAT’S THE BIGGEST CALORIE BOMB ON YOUR THANKSGIVING TABLE & OTHER RANDOM TURKEY DAY FACTS!
AND NOW, THE 10 HOTTEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS AT THE BIG BOX STORES…
IF YOU’RE TRAVELING THIS THANKSGIVING, THIS IS THE IDEAL AIRLINE PASSENGER TO SIT NEXT TO!
If you’re traveling this Thanksgiving, better hope you get seated next to this guy. According to a survey of flight attendants, the ideal airline passenger is a European male thirty-something traveling alone for pleasure (not business). Interestingly, flight crews also said they prefer working in economy over first class, where passengers are perhaps less demanding and more polite. So what makes being a flight attendant suck? The most common complaints were passengers who snap their fingers to get an attendant’s attention, trying to cram too much stuff into the overhead bins and not obeying the seatbelt sign.
HERE ARE 8 BLACK FRIDAY MISTAKES YOU JUST CAN’T AFFORD TO MAKE!
STUDY: 68% OF CLOSETED GAYS WILL BE COMING OUT FOR THANKSGIVING?
Always kinda suspected your son might be gay, but he's never officially told you? That announcement could be coming soon. Soon as in TOMORROW. So this Thanksgiving, you won't just have to be tolerant of mediocre cooking. According to a survey by a gay dating website called GayDating.com, 68% of gay men who are still in the closet say they're planning to come out to their families THIS WEEKEND. And here's how it's going to happen. 55% plan to come out during Thanksgiving dinner . . . 35% are going to wait for the right moment to say it over the long weekend . . . and 10% will bring their boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. A spokesman says, quote, "The family atmosphere at Thanksgiving is very warm and loving, and many closeted gay men feel left out because they cannot be themselves or share the holiday with their partners or boyfriends."
SO, WHY ARE SHOPPERS GIVING IN TO THE ‘BLACK FRIDAY CREEP’ ANYWAY?
HELP THIS KID IN SANFORD FEED 200 CENTRAL FLORIDA FAMILIES!
PSSST, HERE’S THE SECRET TO THE PERFECT ROASTED TURKEY...
HOW YOU GONNA CALL THE COPS ON THE SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGER? C’MON LADY
Yesterday morning, Sarah Hamilton-Parker of Portsmouth, New Hampshire called the cops on a SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGER. Because she said he was making too much noise. Ya know, while he was out in the cold trying to raise money for charity. Sarah works at a store in downtown Portsmouth. The store is VERY lucky that the local press didn't report its name. She says, quote, "I listen to this [bell ringing] for 200 hours a year. This is my fourth year and I can't take it anymore. I'm so sick of it. I don't get a break. It makes my blood pressure go sky high. It makes me hate Christmas." The police captain says the Salvation Army gets official government permission to ring their bells downtown to collect for charity. So the bell ringers are allowed to stand where they're standing and ring their bells as much as they want. Sarah says she's thinking about putting together a petition to circulate around to the other downtown businesses to get the bell ringer kicked out.
A NEW MEASURE WAS JUST FILED TO BAN TEXTING WHILE DRIVING IN FLORIDA!
SOME DUMBASS UP IN GAINESVILLE SLAPPED A COP HORSE…
10 NEW WORDS ARE BEING ADDED TO THE DICTIONARY THIS YEAR…
The Oxford Dictionary Online adds new words every three months and the list that they're adding in the last quarter of this year is heavy on slang terms and technical jargon. Here are 10 of the newest words in the dictionary:
#1.) 4G: It stands for "fourth generation" and is a standard for cell-phone coverage that is better than 3G.
#2.) LTE: It's an abbreviation for "Long Term Evolution"
#3.) Dance-off: A competition between two or more dancers to see which one is eliminated usually from a reality show.
#4.) Deets: An extremely annoying abbreviation of the word "details" . . . as in, quote, "How was the first date? Give me all the deets."
#5.) Boyf: According to the dictionary people, it's an abbreviation of "boyfriend".
#6.) First-world problems: This was popular on Twitter for awhile. People would list problems that are minor compared to starvation and war . . . like not being able to get cell phone reception while sitting courtside at a game.
#7.) Veepstakes: This is one of those terms invented by newspaper writers and talking heads on TV and isn't actually used in normal conversation. It's the race to be chosen as a vice-presidential candidate.
#8.) Stressy: It's the way someone acts when they're under a lot of stress as in, "She always gets stressy when she's about to break up with a guy."
#9.) Forumite: This is someone who posts a lot in an Internet forum.
#10.) Big data: This is the industry that collects and analyzes data . . . kind of like "big tobacco", only with computer nerds.
SURVEY SAYS: 37% OF ADULTS STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA?
Are there REALLY adults out there who still believe in Santa Claus? Or are they SAYING they believe in Santa because he represents the spirit of Christmas? Either way, according to a new survey, 37% of ADULTS say they believe in Santa Claus. That's 44% of women and 30% of men who say they believe. Broken down by religion, 47% of Catholics say they believe in Santa . . . 38% of Protestants . . . and in the most random finding of all, 12% of Jews. In the same survey last year, only 30% of people said they believe in Santa Claus.
BOTOX FOR BABIES?
EVER GET FRUSTRATED TRYING TO GET INTO THAT “CLAMSHELL” PACKAGING? SON OF A BITCH THAT’S ANNOYING
THIS NEWARK MAYOR IS ABOUT TO LIVE ON FOOD STAMPS TO PROVE A POINT!
SHE DON’T EAT MEAT, BUT SHE SURE LIKED THE BONE!
Two months ago, a 37-year-old woman in Gothenburg, Sweden was arrested for HAVING SEX WITH A HUMAN SKELETON. The woman would film herself having sex with the skeleton, AND using the bones as LOVE TOYS. Some of the movies featured her LICKING the skull, and had labels on them like "My necrophilia" or "My first experience." Apparently she bought the bones from someone online. The only reason the cops caught her is because someone reported hearing a gunshot from her apartment. It was a false alarm, but when they got inside they found the skeleton. The court ordered a psych evaluation . . . which found the woman TOTALLY SANE. And yesterday she was charged with violating the peace of the dead. That carries a maximum sentence of two years in prison.
THE STEELERS ARE GIVING PLAXICO BURRESS ANOTHER SHOT…GET IT?
The Pittsburgh Steelers gave their injured receiver corps a shot in the arm on Tuesday by resigning wide receiver Plaxico Burress. The 35-year, who spent his first five seasons with Pittsburgh before signing a free agent deal with the New York Giants, said, “I’m very excited to be back in the black and gold where it all started.” If Burress is to catch a pass in his first game back this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns, it will come from the arm of third string quarterback Charlie Batch, who will start in place of the injured Byron Leftwich, who started last week for the banged up Ben Roethlisberger. Leftwich won’t play on Sunday because of a fractured rib he sustained against the Ravens.
ED REED’S SUSPENSION HAS BEEN LIFTED IN LIEU OF A $50K FINE???
Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed on Tuesday won his appeal of a one-game suspension for his third helmet-to-helmet hit in as many seasons, though the league did fine him $50,000. The All-Pro’s successful appeal clears the way for him to play this Sunday in San Diego against the Chargers. Reed would have lost $423,529 in pay had his suspension not been overturned.
2 TEAMS HAVE BOLTED FROM THE BIG EAST!
Once considered incapable of competing with, let alone beating, some of the big boys in college football, Rutgers University has decided to leave the Big East for the Big Ten. The school will make its decision official during a press conference scheduled for Tuesday on its campus in Piscataway, NJ. In 2002, the Scarlet Knights finished with an embarrassing record of just 1-11, but since then, they have made six bowl appearances in the past seven years. This year they sit at 8-2 and in position to win its first Big East championship.
NBA ROUNDUP: L.A., BROOKLYN BATTLE IN HOLLYWOOD; LAKERS PREVAIL
Despite going an inexcusable 19-for-37 from the charity stripe, the Los Angeles Lakers managed to beat the Brooklyn Nets 95-90 on new L.A. coach Mike D’Antoni’s debut on the sidelines at the Staples Center. Dwight Howard made just 7 of his 19 free throw attempts but finished with 23 points and 15 big rebounds, while Kobe Bryant led the Lakers with 25 and Pau Gasol and Metta World Peace scored 17 apiece. The Lakers are now over the .500 mark (6-5) for the first time this season. Elsewhere in the NBA, the New York Knicks moved to 8-1 with a 102-80 pounding of the New Orleans Hornets, and the Philadelphia 76ers picked up their third straight win, beating the Toronto Raptors 106-98.
M-M-M-MY KURODA! THE YANKEES ARE KEEPING HIROKI FOR THEMSELVES
The New York Yankees and right-handed starting pitcher Hiroki Kuroda on Tuesday agreed on a one-year deal worth $15 million that will ensure the Japanese hurler will be back in the Big Apple for the 2013 season. The 37-year old put together a record of 16-11 with a 3.32 ERA in his first year in the American League after spending the previous four years with the Los Angeles Dodgers.
NO. 1 INDIANA SURVIVES GEORGETOWN IN OT
Top-ranked Indiana (5-0) got quite a scare from Georgetown (3-1) on Tuesday before finally putting the hustling Hoyas away for good 82-72 in overtime to win the Legends Classic tournament in New York. Elsewhere in college hoops, No. 7 Florida sank Savannah State 58-40; No. 9 North Carolina was beaten by Butler 82-71; No. 11 UCLA edged Georgia 60-56; No. 12 Kansas sailed past St. Louis 73-59; No. 14 Creighton crushed Longwood 105-57; No. 15 Michigan State barely beat Boise State 74-70; and No. 22 Cincinnati made soup out of Campbell 91-72.
