Should we TASER RICH?!?!
THE DONALD IS FIRED! NO REALLY!
LOLO JONES JOINS THE U.S. BOBSLED TEAM WEEKS AFTER LEARNING THE SPORT!
AH-NOLD WILL PLAY CONAN ONCE AGAIN!
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER is returning to the "Conan" franchise with "The Legend of
Conan". A producer says it'll focus on the character "nearing the last cycle of his life" and wanting to "go out with a good battle." Arnold says he's "honored" to be asked to play the role again.
BEHOLD! THE TOP 10 MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL CELEBRITY FAMILIES
The website Starpulse.com has put together a list of 10 Dysfunctional Celebrity Families. Here
they are, in no particular order . . .
#1.) The Lohans. Pretty self-explanatory.
#2.) The Spears. Britney's problems are more than evident. But let's not forget, her sister Jamie Lynn got pregnant at 16.
#3.) The Phillips. "One Day At a Time" star Mackenzie has been battling substance abuse problems most of her life. She also revealed recently that she had a CONSENSUAL sexual relationship with her father, John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas.
#4.) The O'Neals. Dad Ryan was an abusive, substance-abusing A-HOLE, and that rubbed off on his sons Redmond, Griffin and daughter Tatum. He also allegedly hit on Tatum at Farrah Fawcett's funeral before realizing who she was.
#5.) The Barrymores. Drew's mom Jaid was a train-wreck who used to take her daughter partying with her at Studio 54. Drew was smoking by age NINE, drinking by age 11 and in rehab for drugs and alcohol by age 13.
--Drew was legally emancipated from her parents at age 15. Her father John Barrymore became a derelict before he died in 2004. Drew is currently on her third marriage.
#6.) The Meesters. "Gossip Girl" star Leighton Meester was born in the halfway house of a Texas prison, because her mother was serving time for being part of a DRUG RING.
--Last year, Leighton SUED her mother over a monthly allowance she was providing for her little brother, who has severe medical issues. Leighton claimed her mom was using the money on cosmetic procedures for herself. Leighton won the case.
#7.) The Hogans. What have we got here: Hulk's sex tape . . . Linda taking up with a kid her son Nick went to school with . . . Nick turning his best friend into a vegetable in a car crash . . .
--And then there were those mildly creepy pictures of Hulk putting suntan oil on his daughter Brooke.
#8.) The Gosselins. What more can we say about these morons? They happily put all their dysfunction on TV for our viewing pleasure.
#9.) The Jacksons. Again, where do we begin? Just saying the names Michael and La Toya is enough. Then there was that weird plot by some of the siblings to kidnap their mom and gain control of Michael's estate.
--But Papa Joe claims to this day that he was beating GOODNESS and COMMON SENSE into them. (???)
#10.) The Baldwins. Daniel has ongoing substance abuse issues. Stephen used to before becoming a born-again Christian. But God didn't save him from bankruptcy in 2009.
JESSICA BIEL IS TAKING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S NAME! WELL, SORTA…
JESSICA BIEL is taking JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S last name, but only in her personal life.
Professionally, she'll still be "Jessica Biel". Meanwhile, CHRIS KIRKPATRICK says none of the 'N SYNC guys were invited to Justin's wedding, because he didn't want it to turn into a reunion.
LILO’S PUBLICIST QUIT!
LINDSAY LOHAN'S publicist Steve Honig has quit, but sources say it's not because of anything SHE'S done. It's because of her psycho dad, MICHAEL LOHAN.
--When Michael showed up at Lindsay's house for that supposed "intervention", he said Lindsay's team, including her lawyers and Steve, were behind him.
--Steve later released a statement saying they had nothing to do with it, and sources say Michael went ballistic on him . . . which was the last straw.
--But Steve issued a statement saying Michael isn't the only reason he quit . . . quote, "Michael wishes he were that important." He added, quote, "I'm not discussing this out of respect for my client."
SPIKE TV IS OFFERING $10MIL FOR PROOF OF BIGFOOT!
Spike TV is developing a reality show called "10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty", which is what it sounds like: People going out and trying to find "irrefutable evidence" of Bigfoot for a cash reward.
--The participants include: "Scientists, zoologists, seasoned trackers, and actual Bigfoot hunters."
THE STONES DID A WARM-UP SHOW LAST NIGHT…THEIR FIRST IN 5 YEARS!
THE ROLLING STONES performed a low-key "warm-up show" in Paris last night to prepare for their upcoming reunion concerts. They're doing two in London next month, and two in New Jersey in December. --They played 12 songs at a club in front of about 600 people. The show was just announced yesterday . . . and tickets cost just $20. They went QUICK, obviously. --This was the Stones' first show together since August of 2007.
TRAVIS BARKER SAYS THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE TO HAVING YOUR TATTOOS BURNED OFF IN A FREAKIN’ PLANE CRASH…
BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER says the bright side to being severely burned and almost killed in a plane crash is that he gets a re-do on some of his tattoos . . . quote, "All of my first tattoos were gone after that plane crash and my skin grafts. So I have a second chance to do my legs all over again, which is kind of cool for that to come out of a bad situation."
COURTNEY LOVE & BRIT SPEARS EX-MANAGER ARE WORKING ON A NIRVANA BIOPIC…WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Here’s a story that seems almost impossible to believe: walking train wreck Courtney Love and Sam Lutfi, the former manager of former walking train wreck and thankfully long since recovered Britney Spears, are reportedly working on a musical based her late husband Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. Lutfi, who is currently in court entangled in a civil defamation case he filed against Spears’ mother, Lynne, said on the stand Wednesday, “Courtney Love and I are currently working on a possible motion picture or Broadway musical based on the Nirvana catalog, based on her life and Kurt Cobain’s.”
HERE’S WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HURRICANE SANDY TODAY…
THE KIDS IN BREVARD ARE STOKED TODAY, SCHOOLS OUT FOR THE STORM!
BEWARE NORTHEAST, THE “FRANKENSTORM” IS A-COMIN’
Hurricane Sandy pounded Cuba’s second-largest city yesterday and headed for the Bahamas. Forecasters said the storm is shaping up to be a major potential threat to the northeast United States next week. Depending on its path, "it could be a Nor'easter on steroids," National Weather Service meteorologist Robert Thompson said. As of now, the storm has a 90 percent chance of hitting the Northeast and mid-Atlantic early next week with strong winds, flooding, heavy rain and maybe even snow. Sandy hit the city of Santiago de Cuba yesterday with 110-mph winds that cut power, damaged homes and knocked down trees.
DON’T BE AN IDIOT, IF YOU GET A PHONE CALL TELLING YOU TO VOTE BY PHONE…HANG UP OK?
THANKS TO MITT ROMNEY, BIG BIRD COSTUMES ARE SOLD OUT AROUND THE COUNTRY…
THE NAVY’S GOT NEW WEAPONS WITH FRICKIN’ LASERS…
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SCARED TO DEATH!
Remember this before you pull a brilliant Halloween prank on someone. It actually IS possible to scare someone to death. The odds are low, but if someone's scared badly enough, it could send a surge of adrenaline that could actually STOP THEIR HEART.
THEY FINALLY CAUGHT THE DAMN MYSTERY MONKEY IN TAMPA!
A REAL-LIFE CASE OF MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE!
WHO’S THE MOST OVERRATED GUY IN PADS ACCORDING TO THE PLAYERS?
"Sports Illustrated"asked 180 NFL stars who the most overrated player in the league is. And New York Jets backup QB TIM TEBOW was the clear winner, with 34%.
--And here's MORE bad news for the Jets: Their starting quarterback MARK SANCHEZ tied for second. He and Cowboys quarterback TONY ROMO each got 8% of the vote.
--They were followed by Philadelphia Eagles quarterback MICHAEL VICK, with 4% . . . and Baltimore Ravens linebacker RAY LEWIS, with 3%.
THE NBA COMMISH, DAVID STERN, IS STEPPING DOWN!
WORLD SERIES ROUND-UP! GIANTS TAME TIGERS TO TAKE 2-0 SERIES LEAD
The San Francisco Giants continue to play great baseball – and enjoy the benefits of great pitching and a lot of great breaks going their way – and now lead the World Series 2-0 after blanking the Detroit Tigers 2-0 on Thursday. Madison Bumgarner pitched seven innings of shutout ball, Brandon Crawford bounced into a double-play that allowed Hunter Pence to score from third in the seventh inning and Angel Pagan scored on Pence’s sacrifice fly in the eighth to give San Francisco a two-game edge going into Game 3 on Saturday in Detroit.
D-MART LEAD THE BUCS TO 36-17 WIN OVER THE VIKINGS!
Playing underneath the Thursday night lights in Minnesota, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4) relied on rookie running back Doug Martin to slash the Vikings for 214 total yards on the way to thrashing the home team 36-17. Martin racked up a career-high 135 yards on the ground, including a 1-yard TD tote, and snatched three balls for 79 yards, including a 64-yard grab and go, leaving the 5-2 Vikings what hit them.
UH OH, HONEY BADGER DONE GOT BUSTED! EX-LSU STAR MATHIEU, 3 OTHERS ARRESTED IN POT BUST…
The chances of former LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu having any shot of returning to the team went up in smoke on Thursday after the embattled gridiron star and three other former Tigers were arrested on drug-related charges. Mathieu, a 2011 Heisman Trophy finalist, former LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and former Tigers linebacker Karnell Hatcher were all charged with simple possession of marijuana, while former defensive back Derrick Bryant was hit with the more serious charge of possession with intent to distribute and possession of drug paraphernalia. Mathieu was kicked off the team in August for failing multiple drug tests.