Should we TASER RICH?!?!
THE CIA TWARTED A NEW UNDERWEAR BOMB PLOT!
A new underwear bomb plot hatched by an al Qaeda off-shoot in Yemen has been thwarted by the CIA, U.S. officials said yesterday. The bomb was meant for a U.S.-bound jet and was designed to mark the one-year anniversary of the killing of Osama bin Laden. According to U.S. officials, the latest bomb was an upgrade of the underwear bomb that failed to detonate on plane over Detroit on Christmas 2009. It had an improved detonation system and did not contain metal, so it may have been able to pass through airport metal detectors. The planned suicide bomber from Yemen had yet to pick a plane or buy a ticket before the CIA moved in and nabbed the bomb. It's unclear what happened to the alleged bomber.
RICK SANTORUM HAS OFFICIALLY THROWN HIS SUPPORT BEHIND MITT ROMNEY
Rick Santorum officially endorsed his one-time foe Mitt Romney last night in a late-night email that asks his supporters to unite in an attempt to unseat President Obama. Santorum, who spent much of his campaign claiming that Romeny wasn't conservative enough to beat Obama in November, changed his tune. In the 13th paragraph of his 16-paragraph email, Santorum let loose with his endorsement of Romney, saying, "Above all else, we both agree that President Obama must be defeated. It will require all hands on deck if our nominee is to be victorious. Governor Romney will be that nominee and he has my endorsement and support to win this the most critical election of our lifetime."
THE COLOMBIAN SECRET SERVICE HOOKER IS CALLING THE AGENTS “BRUTES” NOW…WONDER WHAT SHE WAS CALLING THEM IN BED?
A woman claiming to be the Colombian prostitute at the center of the Secret Service scandal called the agents “stupid brutes” in an interview with the Today show yesterday. "These seem like completely stupid, idiotic people," Dania Londono Suarez said. "I don't know how Obama had them in his security force." The 24-year-old said three men approached and propositioned her and her friends at a Cartagena nightclub in April before President Obama was set to arrive in the country for the Summit of the Americas. She said she did not know the men were Secret Service agents at the time. "I am not to blame for being attractive," she said. "They are to blame - for leaving their duty behind." So far eight agents have lost their jobs as a result of the scandal.
THE OVIEDO MONKEY ON THE LOOSE HAS BEEN SPOTTED IN WINTER SPRINGS!
THE FAT FORECAST SAYS ½ OF ALL AMERICANS WILL BE OBESE BY 2030
Americans are fat and getting fatter, according to a new report released by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The report says that about 32 million more U.S. citizens will become obese by 2030, sending the U.S. obesity rates to 42-percent. In addition, the report predicts that the rate of severely obese, those who are more than 100 pounds overweight, will double to 11-percent. Making it all worse, if those predictions come true, it could create a $550 billion increase in obesity-related health care costs.
SOUTH KOREA OFFICIALS JUST SEIZED A BUNCH OF PILLS LACED WITH POWDERED DEAD BABY FLESH…NO SERIOUSLY
Officials said yesterday South Korea has seized thousands of smuggled pills filled with powdered human flesh. The capsules, made in northeastern China from the powdered flesh of dead babies, are believed by some to have cure-all properties. Others believe it can be used as a sexual performance enhancer. But officials said the capsules contained bacteria and other harmful ingredients. South Korean customs officials have discovered 35 smuggling attempts since August of about 17,450 capsules disguised as stamina boosters. Customs officials refused to say where the dead babies came from, citing possible diplomatic friction with Beijing.
WOULD YOU JUMP INTO A VAT OF ACID TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND?
CHECK OUT THE HOT DOG HOOKER FROM NYC!
This woman knows how to handle a weiner! Catherine Scalia of Long Island was busted last Thursday for running a prostitution operation out of a hot dog truck! An undercover cop approached the truck and bought two hot dogs and water before inquiring about the “specials.” Turns out the “specials” Scalia offered were a striptease and manual stimulation. And it wasn’t the first time the 45-year-old’s been caught operating a naughty meat market. In 2004 she was jailed on a similar charge. To be frank, it sounds like she really relishes her job.
SURVEY SAYS: PEOPLE IN THEIR 30’S ARE THE LEAST SATISFIED WITH THEIR SEX LIFE
Let’s talk about sex! A survey found that 30-somethings are the least satisfied with their sex lives compared to any other age group. Apparently money worries and childcare stress are killing the mood. Many people in that age group also blamed tiredness, depression and low body confidence for their lack of sex drive. At least they have something to look forward to- people in their 50s and 60s report having the best sex!
AW C’MON PALM BAY…ROBBING THE BINGO HALL?
LOINCLOTH LANDSCAPING? SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA
A Minnesota man may have thought he was king of the jungle, but he ended up swinging right into a jail cell after cops busted him for cursing out neighbors as he mowed his lawn ... wearing nothing but a revealing loincloth. One of Matthew Swanson's neighbors called police after the man allegedly exposed himself while doing his landscaping work -- and when officers arrived, he went ballistic, screaming obscenities at them and some children who were playing nearby. Earlier in the day, Swanson supposedly called 911 himself, purely to pepper dispatchers with four letter words. Sounds like a swingin' time to us.
THIS IS ONE EXTREME EXAM CRAM!
We’ve heard of a lot of techniques to deal with cramming for finals, but this takes things to a whole new level. A high school in China hooked its seniors up to IV drips as they studied in their classroom! Photos surfaced online and immediately went viral. According to Mr. Xia, director of Office of Academic Affairs, the IV contained amino acids meant to restore students’ health. “The state grants a 10-yuan subsidy for amino acids to each graduating senior that will participate in the gao kao (National College Entrance Exam),” Xia explained. They’re really in a class by themselves!
THE 3 SECOND RULE: SCIENCE HAS THE ANSWER
OK, so maybe you wouldn’t eat out of the garbage can (…or would you?), but most of us can admit we’ve abided by the three-second rule, telling ourselves a piece of food dropped on the floor is safe to eat as long as it wasn’t down there for longer than three seconds. Well, now science has the answer! In a study, foods high in sugar and salt- especially processed foods- were found to pick up the least bacteria when dropped on the floor. Stickier items, like cooked pasta and dried fruit, were found to have bacteria growth after just three seconds. You’ve been warned.
COLE HAMELS JUST GOT BUSTED FOR “PLUNKING” BRYCE HARPER FROM THE NATIONALS
Philadelphia Phillies ace Cole Hamels was hit with a five-game suspension yesterday after admitting that he intentionally hit Washington Nationals star Bryce Harper with a pitch as a way to welcome the 19-year-old phenom to big leagues. Following the game Sunday night, Hamels said, "''I was trying to hit him. I'm not going to deny it. I'm not trying to injure the guy. They're probably not going to like me for it, but I'm not going to say I wasn't trying to do it. I think they understood the message, and they threw it right back. That's the way, and I respect it.'' Nationals GM Mike Rizzo was not amused, telling The Washington Post that Hamels hitting Harper with a pitch was "classless" and "gutless." Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said Hamels shouldn't have been so honest about his intentions.
METS ROOKIE 2ND BASEMEN EARNED HIS SPOT YESTERDAY VS. THE PHILLIES!
New York Mets rookie second baseman Jordany Valdespin on Monday came off the pine and got good wood on a Jonathan Papelbon offering and connected for a 3-run pinch-hit bomb in the top of the ninth to lift the Mets past the Philadelphia Phillies 5-2. The game-winning shot was Valdespin’s first major league hit. Elsewhere in the NL, the Miami Marlins won their seventh straight after disposing of the Houston Astros 4-0; three Chicago Cubs batters disposed baseballs into the bleachers at Wrigley Field as the Northsiders beat the Atlanta Braves 5-1; the Cincinnati Reds cruised by the Milwaukee Brewers 6-1; and the Los Angeles Dodgers dominated the San Francisco Giants 9-1. In the AL, the Texas Rangers walloped the Baltimore Orioles 14-3; the Boston Red Sox embarrassed the Kansas City Royals 11-5; and the Cleveland Indians swept a doubleheader against the Chicago White Sox, winning 8-6 in the opener and 3-2 in the nightcap. Here is the complete MLB scoreboard.
GUILLERMO MOTA JUST GOT SUSPENDED 100 GAMES! DRUGS ARE BAD MMMMKAY
THE BOBCATS ARE GETTING READY TO INTERVIEW PATRICK CHEWING!
The Charlotte Bobcats are reportedly ready to interview Orlando Magic assistant Patrick Ewing as a possible replacement for the fired Paul Silas, who led the team to the worst single-season record (7-59) in NBA history. Sources say Charlotte could meet with Ewing as early as tonight, if the Magic are eliminated from the playoffs. If the former Georgetown and New York Knicks center gets the job, he will be asked to lead a team whose winning percentage last season was a record-low 0.106.
NHL ROUNDUP: PHOENIX IS GOING TO THE WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS!
The Phoenix Coyotes are advancing to their first-ever Western Conference finals after narrowly defeating the Nashville Predators 2-1 on Monday to lock up the series 4 game to 1. Phoenix will now face the Los Angeles Kings to determine the Western Conference representative in the Stanley Cup finals. In New York, Brad Richards forced overtime after stuffing the puck in the back of the net with just 6.6 seconds left in regulation to tie the Washington Capitals at 2-2, and the Marc Staal won it for the Rangers at 1:35 of the overtime period. New York now leads the Eastern Conference semifinals 3-2 with game 6 tomorrow night in Washington.
FORMER SAINT ANTHONY HARGROVE SAID HE WAS TOLD TO “PLAY DUMB”
Former New Orleans Saints defensive lineman Anthony Hargrove said in a sworn statement that ex-Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams and current assistant head coach Joe Vitt told him to deny any knowledge of the team’s bounty program. In a document made public on Monday, Hargrove, now with the Packers, acknowledged that he followed Williams and Vitt’s instructions to “play dumb” if asked whether he had any knowledge of a bounty being placed on then-Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre or any other player.” Hargrove, Jonathan Vilma, Scott Fujita and Will Smith are all appealing the suspensions they received for their roles in the bounty program.
DID JOHN TRAVOLTA GET A LITTLE FRISKY AND OFFER A HAPPY ENDING FOR HIS MASSEUR?
: A male masseuse has filed a lawsuit against John Travolta claiming assault and sexual battery. The anonymous California masseur, who is only identified as John Doe in the federal lawsuit, claims that the Pulp Fiction star tried to have sex with him after hiring him for a massage. The plaintiff says that after Travolta stripped down in front of him, he tried to touch the masseuse's scrotum and penis, and after Travolta apologized for his behavior, continued to try and get the masseuse to have sex with him. At one point, Travolta reportedly told the masseuse, "come on dude, i'll j**k you off." Travolta even suggested they have a three-way with a Hollywood starlet who was in the building. Travolta reportedly told the masseuse that he “got where he is now due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his Welcome Back, Kotter days." The plaintiff, who said he was paid a double fee for his services ($800), is seeking $2 million in damages. Lawyers for Travolta called the suit, “complete fiction and fabrication.” The lawyer adds that once the case is thrown out, the actor “will sue the attorney and Plaintiff for malicious prosecution.”
THE PARENT TV COUNCIL IS PISSED AGAIN…
The Parents Television Council is not happy that Howard Stern is the new judge on NBC’s America’s Got Talent. In fact, they’re so upset about it, they’ve sent a letter to the show’s 91 advertisers urging them to boycott the talent competition. The advocacy group believes Stern’s well-known preference for violent and crude language will corrupt America’s children. They also don’t understand how he’s qualified for the job, claiming the only thing he’s an expert at is, “looking at insecure, naked young women and telling them whether or not they were hot enough to pose for Playboy." The new season of America’s Got Talent premieres May 14th.
OH GOOD, JUSTIN BEIBER GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL
Along with his number-one hits and music awards, Justin Bieber now has a high school diploma. The 18-year-old tells the U.K.'s Daily Telegraph, "I just finished high school. I passed my test -- I'm free!" The Bieb admits school wasn't his thing. "I mean, this kind of lifestyle has given me a different perspective on life. I've been able to travel the world. At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading. I'm not really into that stuff. I like to be out there." Justin adds that he did it for his mother. "(Graduating) was something my mom really wanted me to do, so I had to do it for her."
TRACY MORGAN WAS HOSPITALIZED AGAIN…
Tracy Morgan had another health scare Saturday in Denver. The actor was hospitalized for flu-like symptoms and dehydration, according to TMZ. He was treated and released a few hours later. The 30 Rock star, you'll recall, was hospitalized in January after falling unconscious at the Sundance Film Festival.
LADY GAGA’S USED TEACUP JUST SOLD FOR $75K?!
Lady Gaga's lipstick-kissed teacup that she sipped Diet Coke from a year ago while visiting Japan was auctioned off to the tune of $75,000. The auction was part of a U.S. sponsored effort to help aid Japan, as the country is still recovering from the earthquake and subsequent tsunami which rocked the county to its core in March of 2011. Bloomberg News reports that the blue, white and gold cup has not been washed since Gaga drank from it a press conference in Tokyo last June. When the auction ended at midnight this weekend, one lucky little monster had pledged six million yen, which is $75,000 in U.S. dollars, for the item. The funds will support the Tomodachi Arts Fellowship Program, which helps young Japanese artists embark on a course of study in America.
AD ROCK & MIKE D REMEMBER ADAM….
The music world continues to mourn the loss of the Beastie Boys’ Adam ‘MCA’ Yauch, who died on Friday after a battle with throat cancer. He was 47. On Sunday, Yauch’s bandmateS and friendS Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz and Mike “Mike D” Diamond took to Tumblr and Facebook, respectively, to share their thoughts on the passing of their longtime cohort. Horovitz wrote: “As you can imagine, s*** is just fkd up right now. But I wanna say thank you to all our friends and family (which are kinda one in the same) for all the love and support. I’m glad to know that all the love that Yauch has put out into the world is coming right back at him. Thank you.” Yesterday morning Diamond wrote: “I know, we should have tweeted and instagrammed every sad, happy and inspired thought, smile or tear by now. But honestly the last few days have just been a blur of deep emotions for our closest friend, abnd mate and really brother. I miss Adam so much. The world is in need of many more like him. We love you Adam.”
HELL MAY HATH FROZEN OVER…HEAD JOINS KORN ON STAGE!
Ex-Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch joined the band on stage for the first time in seven years Saturday at the Carolina Rebellion festival in Rockingham, North Carolina. Welch played "Blind" with his former bandmates. Welch recently said that he would definitely play with Korn again if the band were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
AND PLAYING JIMI HENDRIX IN THE LONG AWAITED BIOPIC WILL BE…
The long-discussed, much-rumored Jimi Hendrix biopic All is By My Side starring hip hop star and Outkast member Andre 3000 is back on track and currently in pre-production in Ireland. Filming on the production is scheduled to run this month and next, according to the Irish Film and Television Network. John Ridley is set to write and direct the film that spotlight’s Hendrix’s time in England in 1966 and 1967 where he worked on his debut album Are You Experienced.
WILL THE STONES BE LIVE ON SNL?
The rumor mill is buzzing with reports that The Rolling Stones will be the musical guest when Mick Jagger hosts the season finale of Saturday Night Live on May 19th. A post on forum page on the Stones' European fan club site, It's Only Rock n' Roll [iorr.org], says that Jagger, Keith Richards, Ron Wood and Charlie Watts have been rehearsing with tour keyboardist Chuck Leavell and producer Don Was on bass. The songs they've been working on are "Fool to Cry," "Jumping Jack Flash" and "Miss You." We reached out to the band's spokeswoman, who tells us just Mick will be hosting and performing.
SLIPKNOT IS KEEPING THE “IRONS HOT” WAITING FOR COREY TO RETURN FROM TOUR BUT…THEY NEED A BASS PLAYER!
=Slipknot will start work early next year on their first album since bassist Paul Gray's death. DJ Sid Wilson tells NME, "Before Stone Sour finish touring, we'll be in the studio preparing for Corey [Taylor's] return, keeping the irons hot." Stone Sour's next album is due out in October. They'll have a different bassist when they tour, because bassist Shawn Econonaki left the band last month.
OZZY & SHARON’S GRANDDAUGHTER IS A COVER GIRL!
Ozzy Osbourne's fifth grandchild, two-week-old Pearl Osbourne, is already a cover girl. The daughter of Ozzy's son Jack and his fiancee, actress Lisa Stelly, has made her world debut on the cover of Hello magazine, along with her parents and grandmother Sharon Osbourne. Pearl is Sharon's first grandchild. Ozzy's other four are from his first two children from his first marriage, to Thelma Riley. Being a grandmother has done nothing to curb Sharon's critical wit. Her latest target is the New Jersey mother accused of bringing her six-year-old daughter to a tanning salon. Sharon Tweets, "The New Jersey tanning mom looks like a used brown leather suitcase."
SABBATH’S HOMETOWN GIG SOLD OUT IN JUST 10 MINUTES!
Birmingham-bred Black Sabbath will return to their home turf for a May 19 warm up concert at the UK city’s 02 Academy. According to the Sunday Mercury, the gig sold out in an eye-popping 10 minutes. The show will serve as a warm up for the band’s two confirmed festival appearances at England’s Download festival on June 10 and Lollapalooza on August 3 in Chicago. No word yet on whether disgruntled drummer Bill Ward will join Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler at any of the three shows.
RUSH RECEIVED A BIG HOMETOWN HONOR THIS WEEKEND…
Rush received Canada's Governor General's Performing Arts Award over the weekend in Ottawa -- it's similar to the Kennedy Center Honors presented each December in Washington, D.C. Geddy Lee says, "Being a Canadian and seeing how our country treats artists, I think this is a great program to inspire young artists, and I'm very proud to be a part of it... I'm so proud of Canada for doing such a thing. To value artists and to celebrate art is a real pat on the back for artists." In addition to commemorative medals, each member got a check for $25,000 from Canada Council for the Arts. At the ceremony, South Park co-creator Matt Stone took the stage to say a few words about Rush. "I remember buying their cassettes, tearing home on my BMX, running inside and throwing them into my Walkman, and sitting down to my drum set and just destroying my mom's afternoon. Rush was definitely the first band I ever loved."