Should we TASER RICH?!?!
BREAKING NEWS: SEARCH IS ON FOR MISSING GIRL IN TAVARES
MAD COW DISEASE IS BACK?!
A case of mad cow disease was found in a dairy cow in central California, the Department of Agriculture confirmed yesterday. Yet, USDA officials said that there is no cause for alarm because the cow's meat didn't enter the food supply and it will be destroyed. The cow, discovered at a rendering facility run by Baker Commodities in Hanford, California, is the fourth to be found with the disease in the U.S. John Clifford, the USDA's chief veterinary officer, said, "There is really no concern for alarm here with regards to this animal. Both human health and animal health are protected with regards to this issue." No humans in the U.S. have been infected with mad cow disease, but there was concern about its possible spread in the '90s when nearly 150 people died from the brain-degenerated disease.
GEORGE ZIMMERMAN’S FUNDRAISING WEBSITE HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN!
MORE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS HAVE RESIGNED IN THE WHOLE HOOKER SCANDAL DEAL…
Two more agents have resigned as a result of the Colombian prostitute scandal, the Secret Service announced last night. A third employee is in the process of leaving the agency, while two others have been cleared of wrongdoing. As a result of a night of partying, heavy drinking and consorting with prostitutes prior to President Obama's arrival in Cartagena, Colombia, six Secret Service employees, including two supervisors, have left the agency. Secret Service Assistant Director Paul Morrissey said, "At this point, all 12 have either been cleared of serious misconduct, resigned, retired, been notified of personnel actions to permanently revoke their security clearances, or have been proposed for permanent removal for cause. The Secret Service is committed to conducting a full, thorough and fair investigation in this matter, and will not hesitate to take appropriate action should any additional information come to light."
OBAMA SAYS HE JUST PAID OFF HIS STUDENT LOAN DEBT JUST 8 YEARS AGO?!
THE 1ST CRIMINAL CHARGES HAVE BEEN FILED IN THE BP OIL SPILL…
A former BP engineer was arrested in Texas yesterday and charged with two counts of obstruction of justice. They were the first criminal charges filed in the 2010 BP gulf oil spill. Kurt Mix, 50, was accused of intentionally deleting hundreds of text messages regarding the size of the spill "after being repeatedly informed of his obligation to maintain such records." The Justice Department said most of those messages were later retrieved. If convicted, Mix faces a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000 for each of the two criminal counts against him. Mix resigned from BP a few months ago.
CHECK OUT THE NATION’S BEST TEACHER!
Rebecca Mieliwocki of Burbank, California was honored as the 2012 National Teacher of the Year yesterday by President Obama in a ceremony at the White House. The seventh-grade English teacher from Luther Burbank Middle School was greeted by a cheer that was so loud that even Obama took notice, saying, "This is Rebecca's crew right here, who are very proud. Auntie, cousins?" Mieliwocki set the record straight by telling the president that it was her boss, leaving Obama to comment, "Oh, boss. Even more important." A one-time aspiring lawyer, who later worked in publishing, floral design and event planning, Mieliwocki "is the definition of above and beyond," Obama said. She humbly accepted the honor by saying, "I am not the best teacher in America -- there isn't one. All across this nation there are millions of teachers who do the work that I do and many do it better."
AND THE NATION’S MOST PEACEFUL STATE IS…NOT FLORIDA
GOOD NEWS FELLAS! BY 2030, YOU MIGHT LIVE AS LONG AS WOMEN!
One advantage women have had over men through the years is that they lived longer. But, according to a new survey, it looks like that advantage is disappearing. Researchers have found that the gap between male and female life expectancy is closing -- and men could catch up by 2030.
STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR CUSTOM MADE WILLY WARMERS!
There's a hot new trend out there ... hand-made wool penis warmers. The craft sale website Etsy now features willy warmers, which are handmade by a Croatian woman who claims she's making a fortune. "I used to make slippers for tourists but these willy warmers are so popular I just can't keep up," she said. She actually takes personalized orders (with measurements, of course) on her webpage and makes the warmers to order.
SOME LADY’S TORSO SHOWED UP AT BJ’S WHOLESALE…NOW WORD IF THEY WILL OFFER THEM IN BULK AT THIS TIME
Torso weird! A BJ’S Wholesale’s headquarters in Massachusetts received an unexpected package in the mail Friday. It contained a dead woman’s torso! Because of an apparent shipping error, the body part ended up at BJ’s instead of a research facility in Florida. Thankfully, an employee sorting the mail saw the labeling on the package and did not open it. That would have been a sight to dismember…er, remember.
WELL THIS IS ONE WAY TO GET YOUR STUDENTS TO LISTEN…
Well, that’s one way to get your students to listen to you. It’s also one way to get yourself thrown in jail! A high school teacher in Virginia was arrested after he fired blanks at his students from a handgun! Manuel Dillow, 60, allegedly lined up a dozen students from his welding class in front of a garage door, pulled a handgun from his waistband, and fired the gun filled with blanks about 10 times. It was reportedly his bizarre way of getting the class to pay attention. It got attention alright - from the cops! Dillow has been charged with 12 felony counts of brandishing a firearm and was removed from teaching duties. Sounds like he really shot himself in the foot.
HERE’S ONE MORE REASON NOT TO HIT REPLY ALL BUTTON…
This is why it’s so important you don’t hit the “reply all” button by mistake. An investment firm accidentally fired 1,300 employees on Friday after forwarding a “goodbye” email that was meant for one worker who was leaving that day. The message was sent out of Aviva Investors’ human resources department to its entire staff worldwide. Within minutes, bosses realized what had happened and the email was recalled – before anyone could start cleaning out their desk. That would have taken restructuring to a whole new level!
HOW DARE YOU TAP ME ON THE KNEE TO LET ME KNOW WE’RE AT THE GATE??
A flight attendant was hit with a complaint from a passenger who claimed "rude treatment" after she tapped his knee with a magazine in order to wake him up for de-boarding. Kevin Johnson says he was roused from a peaceful sleep as the chartered flight taxied to the gate and demanded that the attendant, who he could not identify, be punished -- a request that Million Air declined to fulfill. Johnson also went to cops, who took a report and noted, "He had no physical signs of injury, no complaint of pain and no paralysis from the magazine."
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T SKIP THIS LAKELAND GUY IN LINE AT McD’S!
A Florida man who claimed he was skipped over in line at McDonald's super-sized his anger by coming back with a baseball bat. The man actually complained verbally at first, then left the premises and returned with a bat and smacked the manager twice in the ribs. Employees said he then walked away calmly, using his shirt to open the door so as not to leave fingerprints. He didn't steal a thing on his way out the door.
YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH RIDING YOUR MOTORCYCLE NUDE IN ROMANIA BUT NO HELMET?? THAT’LL BE A TICKET
A Romanian cop wasn't exactly using his head when he cited a motorcycle passenger for not wearing a helmet -- but giving her a free pass on having the rest of her body completely uncovered as well. Passing motorists stopped to photograph the ticketing process and eavesdrop as the woman was given a warning to cover up ... her head. She did, then climbed back on the bike and rode off nude from the neck down. The officer said the helmet violation was the only thing he was authorized to ticket for.
METTA “WORLD PEACE” AND HIS FLYING ELBOW GET A 7 GAME SUSPENSION!
There will be no World Peace for the Los Angeles Lakers when they start the first round of the playoffs on Saturday. The NBA suspended Lakers forward Metta World Peace for seven games as a result of the violent elbow he threw at Oklahoma City's James Harden in Sunday's game. World Peace was ejected, but later claimed it was an accident. Harden suffered a concussion and has yet to be cleared to play. NBA Commissioner David Stern said in a statement, "The concussion suffered by James Harden demonstrates the danger posed by violent acts of this kind, particularly when they are directed at the head area. We remain committed to taking necessary measures to protect the safety of NBA players, including the imposition of appropriate penalties for players with a history of on-court altercations." This is the third suspension for World Peace. Back when he was known as Ron Artest, he was hit with an 86-game suspension for jumping into the stands at the Palace of Auburn Hills in the Detroit area to fight fans, but he has seemingly turned over a new leaf, auctioning off his World Championship ring to raise money for mental health awareness and later changing his name to promote peace.
THE JAZZ ARE JAZZED TO GET THE FINAL PLAYOFF SPOT!
The Utah Jazz on Tuesday secured the final playoff spot in the Western Conference and eliminated the Phoenix Suns from any chance of playing in the postseason with a 100-88 win over Phoenix in Salt Lake City. In more NBA action, the Atlanta Hawks topped the Los Angeles Clippers 109-102 despite Blake Griffin’s 36-point performance; the Miami Heat sat all of their stars and lost 78-66 to the Boston Celtics; the New Orleans Hornets stung the Golden State Warriors 83-81; and the Oklahoma City Thunder sent the Sacramento Kings to their 44th loss of the year with a 118-110 triumph.
YU BETCHA: DARVISH FANS 10, RANGERS PLATE 2 TO WIN 14TH
The Texas Rangers’ Japanese import Yu Darvish on Tuesday was running on all cylinders, striking out 10 in 8 and 1/3 innings to shut out the New York Yankees 2-0 and run his record to 3-0. Elsewhere in the AL, Josh Beckett pitched six solid innings as the Boston Red Sox blasted the Minnesota Twins 11-2; Matt Weiter’s fourth inning home run proved to the winning run the Baltimore Orioles’ 2-1 win over the Toronto Blue Jays; and David Price went the distance to pick up his third win of the season as the Tampa Bay Rays blanked the struggling Los Angeles Angels 5-0. In the National League, Martin Prado’s tie-breaking triple in the top of the ninth propelled the Atlanta Braves past the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-3; Gio Gonzalez extended his scoreless inning streak to 20 and the Washington Nationals slipped past the San Diego Padres 3-1; and Alfonso Soriano hit a game-winning RBI single in the bottom of the 10th to give the Chicago Cubs a thrilling 3-2 win over the St. Louis Cardinals. Here are all of Tuesday’s scores.
NEW JERSEY WINS IN OT TO FORCE GAME 7!
The New Jersey Devils on Tuesday jumped out to a 2-0 lead over the Florida Panthers, but the Panthers clawed their way back to tie it at 2-2 at the end of regulation. With their backs against the wall on the brink of elimination, the Devils refused to fall and won 3-2 in overtime thanks to Travis Zajac’s game-winner at 5:39 of the extra period. Game 7 is tomorrow in Florida.
LOOMING EVIDENCE: FBI, STATE POLICE ON LOOMIS EAVESDROPPING CASE…
The Louisiana state police and the FBI have joined forces to investigate the New Orleans Saints latest scandal involving general manager Mickey Loomis. Loomis is accused of using an electronic device hooked up in his booth to eavesdrop on visiting coaches from 2002-2004, sources told ESPN’s Outside the Lines. State police Col. Mike Edmonson said, “I thought that was an excellent opportunity to share resources to see if federal or state wiretapping laws were in fact broken.” On Monday, Greg Bensel, the Saints vice president of communications said the allegations against Loomis were “1,000 percent false. This is 1,000 percent inaccurate.”
THE COLTS ARE MAKING IT OFFICIAL AND GOING WITH ANDREW LUCK!
The Indianapolis Colts confirmed the worst-kept secret in the world yesterday when they announced that they plan to select Andrew Luck as their number-one overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft on Friday. Colts general manager Ryan Grigson confirmed the move yesterday because he felt it was "the right thing to do." He may have also had other motives. The team plans to have a big draft party on Friday and plans to formally introduce Luck -- who's replacing legendary quarterback Peyton Manning -- to the Colts faithful.
OZZY’S GOT HIS VERY FIRST GRANDKID!
It's a girl for Jack Osbourne and his fiancee, Lisa Stelly. The couple welcomed daughter Pearl yesterday. Jack's mother Sharon Osbourne tweeted, "Today I witnessed my first grandchild being born, life changing experience. She is an angel."
A NAKED MADONNA PIC IS GOING UP FOR AUCTION FROM BACK IN THE DAY…WOULD YOU PAY?
A naked picture of Madonna that was taken for her 1992 book Sex is expected to sell for thousands at auction in New York next month. The photograph was never used in the book, but shows a topless 32-year-old Madonna reclining in bed while smoking a cigarette. In the past, Madonna defended the sexual book as a part of her "development" as an artist. Madonna previously said: "When I published 'Sex', that was a subject that I was interested in exploring. And to me they're both reflections of who I was and who I am now. It's a, you know, kind of development of me."
DEAR GOD NO! THE KARDASHIANS HAVE SIGNED UP FOR 3 MORE YEARS OF “REALITY” TV…
Looks like we'll be keeping up with the Kardashians for at least a few more years. E! has signed the reality family to a three-year deal worth $30 million. TMZ says Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris and Bruce "will get the lion's share of the money." The deal will push the show into a ninth season. Keeping Up With the Kardashians has produced several hit spinoffs -- including Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Khloe and Lamar. The most recent season of Keeping Up With the Kardasians averaged more than three million viewers. Its seventh season premieres May 20th.
C’MON, ASHTON AND MILA KUNIS HAVE TO BE BANGIN’ RIGHT?
The Ashton Kutcher - Mila Kunis romance rumors won't go away. The former That '70s Show co-stars deny they're a couple, but their recent three-day getaway to the coastal town of Carpinteria, California seems to indicate they're more than just friends. The two reportedly had a sushi lunch date and were spotted buying sunflowers and blueberries from a roadside fruit stand. Sounds serious! After the two were seen together earlier this month, Mila's rep denied reports of a romance, telling the New York Daily News, "They have been friends for years and had dinner with a bunch of people that night."
SCARJO’S GOT SOME NEW INK!
Scarlett Johansson is showing her love of the Big Apple with a new tattoo on her wrist. The Avengers star's ink resembles a charm bracelet, with the words "I (Heart) NY" on it.
ROSIE O’DONNELL IS NOT A LILO FAN!
Rosie O'Donnell thinks Lindsay Lohan's latest comeback attempt is destined to fail. On the Today show yesterday, Rosie said she doesn't think Linds is "right" for the role of Elizabeth Taylor in that upcoming Lifetime TV movie. "I don't think she's capable at this point of doing what's needed to portray that character. I think the interest level in her has waned significantly." Rosie added that "the last thing [Lindsay] did good, she was 16." Her dad Michael Lohan took offense, telling TMZ, "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell to judge anyone, especially Lindsay, who has far more talent than Rosie ever had?" Linds is set to begin filming Liz & Dick in Los Angeles beginning in June.
NEAL SCHON SAYS DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’ YOU CAN’T BE A REALITY STAR…
A veteran of a very real reality star scandal, Journey guitarist Neal Schon is going to help wannabe reality stars’ dreams come true. Schon made headlines when his current girlfriend, former Housewives of DC alum and headline-making White House gatecrasher Michaele Salahi, left her husband to hook up with the real rock star. Now the two, along with Housewives of Orange County’s Gretchen Rossi and her man Slade Smiley, will serve as mentors at a day-long How to Be a Reality Star seminar taking place on June 23 in El Paso, TX.
R.I.P. KILLERS SAXOPHONIST TOMMY MARTh
The Killers have paid tribute to their touring saxophonist Tommy Marth following his death on Monday. The 33-year-old was part of the group's touring band and he is also featured on The Killers' albums Sam's Town and Day and Age. A statement from Brandon Flowers and his bandmates reads: "Last night we lost our friend Thomas Marth. Our prayers are with his family. There's a light missing in Las Vegas tonight. Travel well, Tommy." Group founder Timothy Styles has suggested his friend's death will be investigated, stating, "People who know him will hear the truth about it (death) later on. But it's not natural causes."
LINKIN PARK & INCUBUS: TOUR TALK
Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington says he realizes "it would be silly" if they did a whole tour with Incubus without the two bands getting together to give the fans something special during the show. He says he's already talked to Incubus guitarist Mike Eizinger about it and they both realize -- from having "been asked so much about it" since the Honda Civic Tour announcement just over a week ago -- that, as Einziger puts it, "it's clear that people want us to." As a show of how serious he is about it, Bennington tweeted yesterday, "Man, I would I love to do a song with Incubus this summer. What should we do?"
INCUBUS IS ABOUT TO RELEASE A LIVE BOX SET TOO!
Incubus will release a deluxe live box set titled HQ through their IncubusHQ website on July 6th. The package -- which was inspired by a series of intimate "HQ Live" shows the band did last year in L.A. while promoting the release of their current album, If Not Now, When? -- is expensive at just under $200, but it also contains lots of goodies, such as: An autographed 48-page coffee table photo book with unique art from canvases created by the band and fans at HQ Live. A four-record 180 Gram Vinyl LP Set that includes live versions of the albums Morning View, Make Yourself and If Not Now, When? plus The Best Of Nights 3 through 5. A two-disc DVD/Blu-ray set with 5.1 Surround Sound featuring live performances from the HQ Live Sessions, interviews with the band and fans, clips from musicians clinics and more. A six-CD set of each night's performance, featuring more than 70 songs. A commemorative laminate. The band is currently accepting preorders for the limited edition set.
THE OFFSPRING HAVE THEIR 9TH RECORD COMING OUT THIS SUMMER!
The Offspring will return this summer with their ninth studio album, Days Go By. It's the quartet's first album in four years and the first to feature drummer Pete Parada, who joined the band in 2008. The title track is the first single, and it'll hit the airwaves this weekend.
FIVE FINGER ANNOUNCES THE TRESPASS AMERICA TOUR!
In what reeked of a good old-fashioned publicity stunt, Five Finger Death Punch yesterday unveiled the lineup and schedule of the Metal Hammer Trespass America Festival tour, which they'll headline starting July 13th outside Denver, Colorado. The band's five members, plus five from the other bands, were brought into the press conference at L.A.'s Key Club in the guise of black hooded POWs by armed members of the military. With military-themed footage playing on a large overhead video screen, the hoods were removed to reveal the bill and who the musicians there were:
* Five Finger Death Punch (entire band)
* Killswitch Engage (represented by singer Jesse Leach)
* Trivium (represented by frontman Matt Heafy)
* Pop Evil (not on hand)
* Emmure (represented by singer Frankie Palmeri and guitarist Jesse Ketive)
* God Forbid (not on hand)
* Battlecross (represented by singer Kyle Gunther)
Death Punch singer Ivan Moody says all the bands will have the opportunity to do a full production on the tour in order to create "an event, not just a show," while bassist Zoltan Bathory stressed the importance of creating "an environment -- sort of like an amusement park for metalheads."
JESSE LEECH OFFICIALLY TAKES OVER FOR KILLSWITCH!
Original Killswitch Engage singer Jesse Leach made his live return to the band on Sunday, performing with them for the first time in 12 years at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival in Worcester, Massachusetts. After a few hours sleep, he flew straight to L.A. for yesterday's announcement of the Trespass America tour, which will be the next time he sets foot on a stage in the U.S. Leach, who was named to replace his replacement, Howard Jones, this February, tells us that his first thought as he walked on stage was "Don't screw up," but that he realized he had to quiet any questions he had in his mind and "perform the material, feel it and be there in the moment."
30STM GIVES FANS A PEEK INTO THE STUDIO!
30 Seconds to Mars will give fans a peek into the sessions for their fourth album on Friday. They'll play live versions of new songs during a webcast at VYRT.net/mars. The show will include a preview of the band's documentary, Artifact, as well as a Q&A with Jared Leto and company.