Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen were married from 1981 until 2001, and in that time had a son together: Wolfgang Van Halen. That kid followed in his father's footsteps as a musician and has made a name for himself with his band Mammoth WVH. He was the subject of a new episode of Behind the Music, which premiered on Thursday (May 2), and Bertinelli shared an emotional video on Instagram after watching it, where she detailed her tumultuous relationship with Eddie and her unconditional love for Wolfie.
"I was finally able to watch Wolfie’s Behind the Music," Bertinelli began her message. “It was not easy. I’d stopped it many times because it was just too brutal to watch for many reasons. One, seeing Wolfie’s pain. Two, seeing what a better job I could have done as a parent even though he turned out magnificently. I made a lot of mistakes. And three, seeing what I had turned of Ed’s and my relationship — into some sort of fantasy, soulmate recreation of history.”
“I fell in love with him when I was 20, and it rapidly declined into drugs, and alcohol, and infidelity," she admitted, "Nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream soulmate, that’s for sure.”
“But after Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn’t lived with for 20 years. What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved. That’s what I got out of that marriage was Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me. Not a soulmate.”
Watch Bertinelli's heart-wrenching video below.